Genres: Crack fic

Stories

Three Sentence Fics: Tolkien by Zdenka

Rated PG13
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

A collection of fills written for rthstewart's 3 Sentence Ficathon in 2013 and 2015, for Tolkien-based prompts.

Chapter 2: More Tolkien-based fills written for caramelsilver's 3 Sentence Ficathon in 2016.

Categories: The Lord of the Rings, Crossovers, The Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales, Other Fiction of J.R.R. Tolkien
Characters: Edain: Húrin, Elf: Celebrimbor, Elf: Finarfin, Elf: Galadriel/Artanis, Elf: Lúthien, Elf: Maglor, Half-Elven: Elrond, Half-Elven: Elwing, Half-Elven: Eärendil the Mariner, Númenórean: Ar-Pharazôn, Númenórean: Elros, Númenórean: Tar-Ancalimë, Númenórean: Tar-Míriel, Other: Garm, Other: Giles of Ham, Other: Morgoth/Melkor, Other: Nazgûl/Black Riders/Ringwraiths, Other: Sauron/Annatar/the Dark Lord, Other: Sir Orfeo
Genres: Angst, Crack fic, General, Romance-het
Places: Beleriand, Eregion/Hollin, Númenor, Undying Lands: Aman
Times: 0-Pre-First Age, 1-First Age, 2-Second Age
Warnings: 3. violence, 6. adult themes
Series: None
Chapters: 2    |    Word count: 1502    |    Read Count: 202
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 12/24/16    |    Published: 04/09/15
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Most Fascinating by IgnobleBard

Rated R
[Reviews - 3]
Table of Contents

Barbara Walters interviews the Most Fascinating People of the Ring War.

Categories: The Books of J.R.R. Tolkien
Characters: Dwarf: Gimli son of Glóin, Elf: Legolas Thranduilion, Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider, Other: Sauron/Annatar/the Dark Lord, Other: Tom Bombadil
Genres: Crack fic, Humor, Parody
Places: Other place in Arda
Times: 3-Third Age: Post-War of the Ring
Warnings: 4. sexual content implied, 6. adult themes
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 5863    |    Read Count: 85
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 03/09/16    |    Published: 03/09/16
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Disturbances of the Peace by Larner

Rated G
[Reviews - 0]
Table of Contents

After all, some medications do lead to disturbed dreams--or daydreams!  Heh!

Categories: Crossovers, The Hobbit
Characters: Hobbit: Baggins: Bilbo
Genres: Action/Adventure, Character study, Crack fic, Humor, Vignette
Places: Other world (crossover)
Times: 3-Third Age: late, 5-Post-Fourth Age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 731    |    Read Count: 504
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 01/07/16    |    Published: 01/07/16
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Khamul's Sulfurous Exfoliants by Independence1776

Rated G
[Reviews - 2]
Table of Contents

After the Ring War ends, Khamûl and the rest of the Nazgûl open an exfoliant business. In order to expand it, Khamûl decides to open a stall at Tharbad’s Greenway Spring Faire.

Categories: The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion
Characters: Other: Khamûl
Genres: Crack fic, Humor
Places: Tharbad
Times: 4-Fourth Age, Multi-age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 1023    |    Read Count: 570
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 11/17/15    |    Published: 11/17/15
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A crack and the staff split asunder: Crackfic and General Wackiness by Huinare

Rated PG13
[Reviews - 3]
Table of Contents

Anthologized cracked out stuff. My brain has no reverence for the Third Age.  (Or for anything.)

Anthology is rated based on most intensely rated story: individual story warnings come with each chapter.

Update, Mar 2015 - "The Day We Met Master Salizidûd

Categories: The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings
Characters: Elf: Celebrimbor, Gondorian: Finduilas of Dol Amroth, Hobbit: Gollum/Sméagol, Other: Beorn, Other: Gandalf/Mithrandir/Ólorin, Other: Mouth of Sauron, Other: Saruman/Cúrunir/Sharkey, Other: Sauron/Annatar/the Dark Lord
Genres: Comedy, Crack fic, Humor
Places: Gondor, Gondor: Ithilien, Mordor, Rhudaur, Rohan: Isengard
Times: 3-Third Age
Warnings: 1. use of profane or obscene language, 2. mild violence, 4. sexual content implied
Series: None
Chapters: 5    |    Word count: 4157    |    Read Count: 892
Completed: No    |    Updated: 04/05/15    |    Published: 04/01/12
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The End Of The World As We Know It.... by curiouswombat

Rated G
[Reviews - 4]
Table of Contents

Tiny fic written for a prompt "the song of the twilight of the gods"... Not to be taken seriously :)

Categories: The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion
Characters: As a Group: The Valar, As a Group: Dwarves, As a Group: Elves
Genres: Comedy, Crack fic, Vignette
Places: Undying Lands
Times: 5-Post-Fourth Age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 145    |    Read Count: 718
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 07/10/14    |    Published: 07/10/14
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Sauron Applies For his Job by Himring

Rated PG
[Reviews - 0]
Table of Contents

Before the throne of Angband, Sauron makes his application for the job of lieutenant to Morgoth, the Dark Lord. For reasons unknown and unexplained (possibly just to make things appropriately hellishly difficult) the application has to be made in rhyme...

Categories: Challenge Stories, The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion
Characters: Other: Morgoth/Melkor, Other: Sauron/Annatar/the Dark Lord
Genres: Crack fic, Humor, Poetry
Places: Angband
Times: 1-First Age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 146    |    Read Count: 705
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 04/26/14    |    Published: 04/26/14
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Green Eggs and Silmarils by Zdenka

Rated G
[Reviews - 9]
Table of Contents

A silly retelling of the Silmarillion in the style of Dr. Seuss.

Categories: The Silmarillion
Characters: As a Group: The Valar, Elf: Fëanor, Half-Elven: Eärendil the Mariner, Other: Morgoth/Melkor
Genres: Crack fic, General, Humor, Parody
Places: Beleriand, Undying Lands: Valinor
Times: 0-Pre-First Age, 1-First Age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 453    |    Read Count: 927
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 03/31/14    |    Published: 03/31/14
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Twists of Fate by Linda Hoyland

Rated PG13
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

A young Ranger from the Grey Company lies wounded in the Houses of Healing and reflects on the events of March 15th. 

Categories: The Lord of the Rings
Characters: Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider, Original Male Character
Genres: Angst, Character study, Crack fic, Friendship, General, Short story
Places: Gondor: Minas Tirith/Minas Anor
Times: 3-Third Age: the War of the Ring
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 1385    |    Read Count: 153
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 03/16/14    |    Published: 03/16/14
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The Tale of Lucibella the Fair and Fairy Hoofwings by Linda Hoyland

Rated PG
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

Frodo is rescued by a beautiful woman on a remarkable horse.

Categories: The Lord of the Rings
Characters: Elf: Legolas Thranduilion, Gondorian: Faramir son of Denethor, Hobbit: Baggins: Frodo, Hobbit: Brandybuck: Merry (Master), Hobbit: Gamgee: Samwise, Hobbit: Took: Pippin (Thain), Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider, Original Female Character, Other: Huan the Hound, Other: Shadowfax, Rohirrim: Éowyn
Genres: Comedy, Crack fic, Humor, Parody
Places: Amon Sûl/Weathertop, Gondor: Ithilien, Gondor: Minas Tirith/Minas Anor
Times: Multi-age
Warnings: 5. mild sexual content
Series: None
Chapters: 2    |    Word count: 1788    |    Read Count: 1464
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 06/22/13    |    Published: 06/22/13
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Glimpses of Middle-earth by Linda Hoyland

Rated PG
[Reviews - 0]
Table of Contents

A selection of very diverse drabbles and short pieces written for the
2012 BTME challenge.

Categories: The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion
Characters: Elf: Celeborn, Elf: Fëanor, Elf: Galadriel/Artanis, Elf: Nerdanel, Gondorian: Boromir son of Denethor, Gondorian: Faramir son of Denethor, Half-Elven: Arwen Undómiel, Hobbit: Baggins: Frodo, Hobbit: Brandybuck: Merry (Master), Hobbit: Gamgee: Hamfast "the Gaffer", Hobbit: Gamgee: Samwise, Hobbit: Took: Diamond (of Long Cleeve), Hobbit: Took: Pippin (Thain), Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider, Northern Dúnedain: Gilraen, Northern Dúnedain: Ivorwen, Original Male Character, Other: Watcher in the Water
Genres: Angst, Character study, Comedy, Crack fic, Drabble or Drabble series, Drama, Family, Fixed-length Ficlet (other than drabble), Friendship, General, Humor, Romance-het
Places: Annúminas, Gondor, The Shire
Times: Multi-age
Warnings: 4. sexual content implied
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 3016    |    Read Count: 1213
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 04/14/13    |    Published: 04/14/13
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A Night at the Silver Crown by Linda Hoyland

Rated PG
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

Aragorn and Faramir encounter a mysterious bartender, an inquisitive girl, and a remarkable cat at their favourite tavern.

Categories: Crossovers
Characters: Gondorian: Faramir son of Denethor, Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider
Genres: Alternate Universe, Crack fic, General, Mystery, Short story
Places: Gondor: Minas Tirith/Minas Anor
Times: 4-Fourth Age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 1311    |    Read Count: 946
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 02/11/13    |    Published: 02/11/13
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Inequity by Larner

Rated PG
[Reviews - 2]
Table of Contents

The Lord of Mandos learns that Frodo Baggins is not quite happy in his new accommodations in the Hall deemed appropriate for him.

Categories: Crossovers
Characters: As a Group: Elves, As a Group: Hobbits, Original Female Character, Original Male Character
Genres: Angst, Character study, Comedy, Crack fic, Friendship, Humor, Satire
Places: Undying Lands
Times: 4-Fourth Age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 1061    |    Read Count: 1402
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 10/06/12    |    Published: 10/06/12
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Glimpses of Middle-earth by Linda Hoyland

Rated PG
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

A selection of very diverse drabbles and short pieces written for the
2012 BTME challenge.

Categories: The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion
Characters: Elf: Celeborn, Elf: Fëanor, Elf: Galadriel/Artanis, Elf: Nerdanel, Gondorian: Boromir son of Denethor, Gondorian: Faramir son of Denethor, Half-Elven: Arwen Undómiel, Hobbit: Baggins: Frodo, Hobbit: Brandybuck: Merry (Master), Hobbit: Gamgee: Hamfast "the Gaffer", Hobbit: Gamgee: Samwise, Hobbit: Took: Diamond (of Long Cleeve), Hobbit: Took: Pippin (Thain), Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider, Northern Dúnedain: Gilraen, Northern Dúnedain: Ivorwen
Genres: Angst, Anthology, Childhood, Comedy, Crack fic, Drabble or Drabble series, Drama, Family, Friendship, General, Horror, Humor, Romance-het
Places: Arnor, Gondor, The Shire
Times: 1-First Age: middle, 3-Third Age: late, 3-Third Age: the War of the Ring , 3-Third Age: Post-War of the Ring, 4-Fourth Age
Warnings: 4. sexual content implied, 6. adult themes
Series: None
Chapters: 10    |    Word count: 1769    |    Read Count: 3588
Completed: No    |    Updated: 10/05/12    |    Published: 09/28/12
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In Dwimordene, In Lorien by Kaylee Arafinwiel

Rated G
[Reviews - 0]
Table of Contents

Crackfic. Theodred/Arwen (unrequited). Theodred sees a vision of beauty passing through Rohan...

Categories: The Lord of the Rings
Characters: As a Group: Elves, As a Group: Rohirrim
Genres: Crack fic
Places: Rohan: Edoras
Times: 3-Third Age: late
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 401    |    Read Count: 913
Completed: No    |    Updated: 06/30/12    |    Published: 06/30/12
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Not Good, Not Good At All by Virodeil

Rated PG
[Reviews - 0]
Table of Contents

The (mis)adventures of an ordinary teenage girl, from the beginning until… well, until the end, that is.

Categories: The Lord of the Rings, Challenge Stories
Characters: Original Female Character, Original Male Character
Genres: Action/Adventure, Crack fic, Horror, Humor, Mystery
Places: None
Times: Multi-age
Warnings: 1. use of profane or obscene language, 2. mild violence
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 1634    |    Read Count: 792
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 03/05/12    |    Published: 03/05/12
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Feature Vairë Was a Weaver, or, Real Men Wear Corsets (a farce) by Celeritas

Rated PG
[Reviews - 28]
Table of Contents

Arwen gets bored one day and sets in motion a chain of events that no one except the Author can entirely predict.  Diaphragms are squeezed, things catch on fire, and the whole City seems to go mad for a day, and yet somehow everything seems to end up slightly better off than it started.

Crackfic, inspired in part by Shakespearean farces, Terry Pratchett, and high school spirit weeks.

Categories: The Lord of the Rings
Characters: As a Group: The Fellowship, Dwarf: Gimli son of Glóin, Elf: Celeborn, Elf: Galadriel/Artanis, Elf: Legolas Thranduilion, Gondorian: Amrothos of Dol Amroth, Gondorian: Bergil son of Beregond, Gondorian: Elphir, Gondorian: Erchirion, Gondorian: Faramir son of Denethor, Gondorian: Hurin of the Keys, Gondorian: Imrahil, Prince of Dol Amroth, Gondorian: Lothíriel of Dol Amroth, Gondorian: Targon, Half-Elven: Arwen Undómiel, Half-Elven: Elladan, Half-Elven: Elrohir, Half-Elven: Elrond, Hobbit: Baggins: Frodo, Hobbit: Brandybuck: Estella (Bolger), Hobbit: Brandybuck: Merry (Master), Hobbit: Gamgee: Samwise, Hobbit: Took: Pippin (Thain), Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider, Original Female Character, Original Male Character, Other: Gandalf/Mithrandir/Ólorin, Rohirrim: Éomer, Rohirrim: Éowyn
Genres: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crack fic, Frame story (tale-within-a-tale), Gapfiller, Humor, Novel
Places: Gondor: Minas Tirith/Minas Anor
Times: 3-Third Age: Post-War of the Ring
Warnings: 2. mild violence, 4. sexual content implied, 6. adult themes
Series: None
Chapters: 84    |    Word count: 44556    |    Read Count: 74653
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 08/01/11    |    Published: 08/01/11
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Feature Caterwauling by Elleth

Rated PG
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

Much to her chagrin, Goldberry makes the acquaintance of a persistent admirer before the world has even begun.

Categories: The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion
Characters: Other: Goldberry, Other: Sauron/Annatar/the Dark Lord, Other: Tom Bombadil, Vala: Melkor
Genres: Comedy, Crack fic
Places: The Old Forest, Other place in Arda
Times: 0-Pre-First Age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 499    |    Read Count: 1328
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 06/28/11    |    Published: 06/28/11
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Feature Read and Review by Dreamflower, Celeritas

Rated PG
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

2012 Tree & Flower awards; Hobbits, HM

 Sometimes a writer just can't please everyone, as Frodo discovers...(By Dreamflower and Celeritassagittae)

Categories: The Lord of the Rings
Characters: As a Group: The Travellers (Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin)
Genres: Crack fic, Friendship, Humor, Parody
Places: The Shire: Bag End
Times: 3-Third Age: Post-War of the Ring
Warnings: 1. use of profane or obscene language
Series: None
Chapters: 2    |    Word count: 1875    |    Read Count: 3631
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 06/26/11    |    Published: 05/29/11
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Feature Dialling the Pegasus Galaxy by Rhapsody

Rated G
[Reviews - 0]
Table of Contents

Rodney McKay and Major John Sheppard face the most unlikely creatures... Where Stargate Atlantis meets the world of Tolkien. Crossover of Tolkien with Stargate Atlantis.

Originally drabbled on the 28th of June 2005

Categories: Crossovers, The Lord of the Rings
Characters: Hobbit: Took: Pippin (Thain)
Genres: Alternate Universe, Crack fic, Drabble or Drabble series
Places: None
Times: 3-Third Age: the War of the Ring
Warnings: None
Series: Musings in the sky
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 99    |    Read Count: 1037
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 07/17/10    |    Published: 07/17/10
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Feature Can You Sing, Master Hobbit? by Shirebound

Rated G
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

A short, silly ficlet written for Baylor's birthday (and originally posted on LiveJournal). When he's offered a recording contract in Gondor, why should Pippin return to the Shire?

Categories: The Lord of the Rings
Characters: As a Group: The Travellers (Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin)
Genres: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crack fic, Humor, Vignette
Places: Gondor: Minas Tirith/Minas Anor
Times: 3-Third Age: Post-War of the Ring
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 391    |    Read Count: 1215
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 07/09/10    |    Published: 07/09/10
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Feature Hewing Naught But Wood by Thundera Tiger

Rated PG
[Reviews - 3]
Table of Contents

During the Battle of Helm's Deep, Gimli makes a statement that seems to be in conflict with previous events. Now, he's given a chance to explain it. Featuring the Three Hunters at their pedantic best plus the pragmatic Eomer. And you thought Tolkien chat rooms were scary...

Categories: The Lord of the Rings
Characters: Dwarf: Gimli son of Glóin, Elf: Legolas Thranduilion, Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider, Rohirrim: Éomer
Genres: Comedy, Crack fic, Humor, Parody, Satire
Places: Rohan: Helm's Deep
Times: 3-Third Age: the War of the Ring
Warnings: 2. mild violence
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 2622    |    Read Count: 1830
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 07/05/10    |    Published: 07/05/10
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Feature Maggoty Bread by Thundera Tiger

Rated PG
[Reviews - 0]
Table of Contents

A ridiculous movie-verse tale explaining why the Uruk-hai took maggoty bread with them when they set out after the Fellowship.

Categories: Orphan
Characters: As a Group: Orcs, Orc: Uglûk, Other: Saruman/Cúrunir/Sharkey
Genres: Crack fic, Humor
Places: Rohan: Isengard
Times: 3-Third Age: the War of the Ring
Warnings: 8. character death
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 2000    |    Read Count: 1728
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 07/02/10    |    Published: 07/02/10
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Feature Smiting Ruin by Thundera Tiger

Rated PG
[Reviews - 1]
Table of Contents

A clash of movie verse and book verse during the scene in which Gandalf the White reunites with Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas. Sometimes changing the words around can change the entire meaning. Fairly inane, but it's short and fun.

Categories: The Lord of the Rings
Characters: Dwarf: Gimli son of Glóin, Elf: Legolas Thranduilion, Northern Dúnedain: Aragorn/Strider, Other: Gandalf/Mithrandir/Ólorin
Genres: Crack fic, Gapfiller, Humor, Parody
Places: Fangorn Forest
Times: 3-Third Age: the War of the Ring
Warnings: 2. mild violence
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 1762    |    Read Count: 1822
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 06/29/10    |    Published: 06/29/10
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Not All Who Wander Are Lost... by Kaylee Arafinwiel

Rated G
[Reviews - 4]
Table of Contents

2010 Middle Earth Fanfiction Awards 3rd Place Ficlet GeneralDuring the Seventh Age of the Sun (or whatever modern day is) two wanderers finally come home, making excuses...

Categories: The Silmarillion
Characters: As a Group: The Valar
Genres: Crack fic, Humor
Places: Undying Lands: Aman, Undying Lands: Valinor
Times: 5-Post-Fourth Age
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1    |    Word count: 441    |    Read Count: 1687
Completed: Yes    |    Updated: 04/20/10    |    Published: 04/20/10
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